Love me, baby
by toodles13
Summary: Athrun Zala was just an ordinary guy trying to get through college, that is until he meets Cagalli, the demon princess who suddenly announces that she must have a child with him. Enter Kira the overprotective brother, annoying demons with a mask fetish trying to take over our world and perverted angels that drives him crazy. And he thought college was hard.
1. Chapter 1

inspired by a scan and a lot of drunk moments in college.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. Just the plot.

* * *

Love me, Baby.

By: toodles13

Chapter 1: The Universe hates Athrun Zala

"_The Universe is bastard with a giant god complex that hates me"_

_**I hate my friends.**_

And that is a feat in itself if I say so myself. For I consider myself a very nice guy. That and my 'what I hate list' is very short. Yes. I do not have a lot of things to hate, but as of this moment I can be pretty sure that I hate my friends.

If one is to ask me how I can hate my friends, I will ask them to spend a day with them, then we will talk. I think that I deserve an award for being able to stand them since we were six year olds. I think I need to be canonized as a saint.

Let me introduce my friends briefly. We have Yzak, a short tempered, momma's boy who always seems to get pissed off about everything. We have Dearka, the self proclaimed ladies man who does nothing but hit on everything that moves. And then we have Heine, another self proclaimed ladies man like Dearka, but he does have a tendency to be overdramatic. Especially when getting dumped.

Which leads us to this phrase. I hate my friends.

As you can see it all started when Heine was once again dumped for the third time this month by another one of his so called 'love of his life'. I will not go into details about that, I only tend to get headaches when I try to comprehend what happened. So this is how it went. Heine got dumped, Dearka being a "good friend" as he stated said to go for a night out, which ultimately, always, 100% of the time ends up in a disaster. I tried to escape you know, but they got me in the end.

So we went to a bar. To drink. And that my friend is where everything went blank. Yes. You heard me, blank. Because that is all I remember, we went to a bar, began drinking and then I woke up on the floor of my room in our apartment in my boxers and a tattoo on my hips and my chest. And if that wasn't enough, we missed half the day of our classes. So as you can see that is the reason I hate my friends.

I walked out of my room, after getting dressed of course, to look for my "friends". Notice the double quotes. Yeah. Anyway so I went looking for them and I see them sleeping in the living room, clad only in their boxers. Dearka has some gothic looking bra on his head. Oh wow. What the hell did we do last night? I walked towards the coffee table where I noticed some pictures lying on top. I scanned them and by god I swear never to drink again. Ever.

There were about ten pictures. One was a picture me screaming my guts out as I was obviously getting a tattoo, with Dearka laughing on the background and Yzak saying something to the tattoo artist, who was looking at him with a 'are you sure' look. Heine was just crying in the corner. I sighed and lifting my shirt I looked at the tattoo on my chest. I wish to die right there and then. On my chest was a tattoo of a naked 'troll doll' with pink hair. PINK! And if that is not enough they even have a rainbow above the troll doll's head with my name written in the middle of the god damn rainbow.

I wish to smother them right now.

The other picture was a picture of the four of us in the bar. The other was a picture of us in some park, and then at the fountain in the said park. There was also a picture of us in a playground, a picture of us trying to get Heine out of a slide's hole, it seems that he tried going up the slide and got stuck on the hole. There was also a picture of me and Dearka running in the park with only our boxers on, so that's why my feet were dirty. There were other pictures of us in different places and we look wasted in all of them. There was also a weird picture of nothing but a yellow spot on the upper right of the photo. It seems we had the pictures printed before going home.

I am never drinking again.

* * *

After taking a bath and freshening up I decided not attend classes anymore since we already missed half. So instead I decided to head towards the public library to study. So now this is the moment where I say that everything will be fine, there is nothing in the universe that could ruin this day, and I will quote the pink hat, buck tooth kid from the cartoon that I accidentally watched the other day, "What could possibly go wrong?" Then I look up into the blue sky.

That is where it went wrong.

Athrun: 0, Universe: 1.

As soon as I looked up I saw blond girl wearing a black dress floating above me with her face mere inches from mine.

Ah, the sweet revenge of the universe. It seems it hasn't been satisfied of last nights events. So now it gives me hallucinations of girls floating. Must be the effect of alcohol from last night. So I stopped walking and closed my eyes, counted to ten then opened them again. I looked up.

She was still there.

I weighed my chances; apparently I'm still drunk from last night, so I did what any man would do in this situation. I walked away. Maybe if I ignore it, it will go away.

But then it spoke. Thank you Universe! Thank you for proving me wrong.

Athrun: 0, Universe: 2.

"Hey, don't you dare walk away from me", I heard it say. I stopped walking. "You sure have some guts walking away from me after what you did last night"

I took a deep breath and turned to look at the girl. I can see her amber eyes glaring at me. So I looked at what she was wearing. She was wearing a black dress that ends on the middle of her thigh; she has a matching black boots on. There were little bat wings on either side of her head, and she was wearing a black cape with a red ribbon in front of it. I tried to remember if it was Halloween. It was not.

And yeah, she was still floating.

I sighed again as she continued to glare at me. "Uhhm. Who are you?" I asked her softly, who knows what she might do to me if I shouted at her. She narrowed her eyes. I tried to think of what to say. "Uh, I'm sorry I don't remember much of last night. If I did something to you please forgive me." As soon as those words left my lips and she heard, her expression changed. She looked like she was about to cry.

She was still glaring at me though.

"You don't remember huh." She told me as she got down. Thank god she's not floating anymore. "You take advantage of me and the next day you don't remember me! You make me sick!"

Then she cried.

Loud. Very Loud.

The very few people who were near us started to look at us. Then they saw the girl crying and began giving me looks. Then she began to talk.

"You're so-_sob-_horrible! You took advantage of me last night! _-sob-_" she cried. And by cried I mean cried in a very loud voice. Now the people are giving me dirty looks, I even heard one whisper 'such a horrible person taking advantage of that poor innocent girl'.

My name is Athrun Zala. I am the son of Patrick and Lenore Zala. I am 20 years old. I am currently studying at ZAFT Technical University. I forgot to mention that I'm filthy rich, well my parents are. I am a nice guy. I'm a gentleman; I never take advantage of girls. Heck, I don't even have a girlfriend. I rarely get drunk. And the one time I get drunk this happens!

I stopped my inner monologue and took a look at the girl crying in front of me. And she used to float a while ago. I placed a hand on her shoulder and spoke to her, "Can we talk about this in a private place. Uh, the people are staring." She sniffled, and then turned to look at me. I was at loss for words as soon as I saw her face. Her amber eyes became big and doleful due to her crying, her cheeks were flushed red and her golden hair was framing her cute face. She looked like an angel.

I was wrong again. The universe just loves proving me wrong.

Athrun: 0, Universe: 3.

She smiled at me, but I can see an evil glint in her eyes as she stood up and latched herself onto my arm. "Let's go then" then she dragged me to a nearby cafe.

"So. Who are you?" I asked her once we were settled inside the cafe. She was about to eat a piece of the strawberry cheesecake she ordered, when she placed it back in her plate and glared at me. "You really are a jerk, you know." She snapped at me. I sighed then explained to her that I was drunk and that I really don't remember anything. After I finished explaining she looked like she was about to cry again. "Please don't cry. I'll take responsibility for what I've done. But can you please tell me who you are, I can't keep calling you 'floating girl' in my head."

Then she told me everything. Her name is Cagalli, and she's a demon princess from Hell. Apparently for some reason she came here on Earth to look for a husband. Then she told me that we met at the park, wherein I was only wearing my boxers. She helped me look for my friends since I was separated from them. When I was with my friends again, it seems I decided to thank her.

By kissing her on the lips.

You'll probably think, so what it's just a kiss. Apparently, in their world being kissed on the lips is same as getting married. It means I'm her husband now.

Oh dear.

I was laughing after her story, and that was when she decided to show me proof. She grabbed my neck and I can feel her sharp nails digging into my skin. I tried to call for help but I saw that the people were standing still.

"Time magic, sweetheart. I'm the demon princess what did you expect." she told me with grin on her face. "Now listen here, darling. You're my husband now, and we'll have a peaceful and happy life together from now on. And if I catch you cheating on me, I'll pound your body until your flesh and guts turn into powder. Then I'll use it as a fertilizer in Hell. Got that, sweetheart?" she told me with a sweet smile as if she's talking about puppies.

I nodded.

She let go of my neck and snapped her fingers. Then I saw the people moving again. I look at her and she was back to eating her cake. I sighed; it seems all I need to do is stay married to her.

"Oh, and we need to make a baby now" she informed me as she sipped her tea.

Universe strikes again.

On this day I have learned five things. One is that you must never challenge the universe; it bites back in the ass. Two is Murphy's Law, which states that "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong". Three, apparently that 'anything' from Murphy's Law is my life. Four, cartoons sometimes teach you something about the effects of challenging the universe. And five, I think that the universe or someone up there hates me.

Oh before I forgot.

Athrun: 0, Universe: 4.

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thank you for reading.

please do leave a review if it pleases you. tell me what you think.

see you in chapter 2.


	2. Chapter 2

thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, followed and read this story. I love you all. :)

I had so much fun writing this. this chapter was inspired by a Trope.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. I just own the plot and the Athrun Zala Puppy Dog Eyes technique™ and the quotes at the beginning of each chapter.

* * *

Love me, baby.

By: toodles13

Chapter 2: The Universe still hates Athrun Zala

"_Accidents happen; but I just can't explain why it tends to happen to me all the time"_

_**It was warm.**_

It was comfortable.

It was soft.

Wait a minute. Soft? The opposite of hard. An item having a pleasing quality. Soft. When did I have a soft pillow for my side? I remember my pillows, how many are there and their specific uses. Yeah, you can tell me that I have OCD. But it is true about the pillows. So there.

Let me check, I can feel two pillows on my head, a pillow on my abdomen and a pillow on my feet. So now where did this side pillow come from? And when did they make pillows that smooth? And why is the pillow pretty small?

Enough with the questions. I'm starting to get a headache. And I haven't seen my friends yet, this must be a record.

So I open my eyes instead and I found myself facing a familiar ceiling. Ah, what happened yesterday? I remember something about a girl telling me that we were married; guess it was just a dream. A pretty realistic dream. I'm having weird dreams about a girl; I think that I, according to Dearka's words, need to get laid. Or maybe get myself a girlfriend. Yeah, that would be nice. Now back to the pillow problem. Wait a minute. Did the pillow just move? Nah, maybe it's just an aftermath of the dream I had about the girl. I turned my head to look at the pillow.

Really Universe? This early in the morning?

As soon as I turned my head, my eyes landed on the figure sleeping next to me. It was the floating gi- I mean Cagalli. And she's real. She's sleeping right beside me. Naked. Well, upper body naked but still she's naked! Naked, I tell you! And those weren't pillows for goodness sakes, they were her uh- chests, boobies, mammary, melons, gazongas, whatever. On a good note, I saw that I was fully clothed. Thank God.

HA! Take that Universe.

And as soon as I saw Cagalli next to me, naked, I did what any surprised man would do.

I quickly sat up and screamed, a very manly scream if I might add, because girly screams is Yzak's forte not mine.

Apparently my very manly screams, it was manly really, woke Cagalli up. And the next thing I knew a foot had made contact with my chest and then I was on my back on the floor.

"You're too noisy this early in the morning", I heard Cagalli grumble from the bed. Since I was scared that she might punch me if I stood up, I crawled on the floor and headed towards the door. Upon reaching the door I opened it quietly and quickly crawled outside then closed it. I sighed as I made it outside, I feel so safe, but then I bumped into a pair of legs and when I looked up I saw a baby blue cotton underwear.

I screamed again. The universe is on a roll today.

I backed towards the door of my room, away from the baby blue underwear, when I saw the owner. It was Shiho. Wearing an oversized shirt. Yzak's shirt. And before I could say anything, I felt the door behind me open which made me fall back and come face to face with another underwear. This time it was black lace. Yes. Lace. Like Victoria's Secret lace.

"Like the view from down there, sweetheart?" I heard Cagalli ask with a voice dripping with annoyance and malice. I think it's time to play the sweet hubby so I don't get hurt. Who knows, it might even work.

"H-hey, good morning, darling.", I asked Cagalli who was now bending over to look at me, giving me a look that promises bodily harm. She can look at me like that even though she still looks sleepy. I noticed that she wasn't naked anymore and that she had worn one of my shirts and no bat wings on her head today. "D-did you have a good sleep?" I asked her as I got up; she just narrowed her eyes at me.

"Who would be able to sleep with the racket you're making" she snapped back at me. Note to self: Cagalli is not morning person; she gets cranky in the mornings.

"Sorry about that, I was just surprised to see you in my bed" I explained as I saw her get back into the bed. Shiho wasn't there anymore; she must be in the kitchen having breakfast.

"You didn't have to scream you know!" She mumbled. "Stupid Athrun...I was...still sleeping...making noises"

I sighed, I'll just let her sleep some more.

"Well I wouldn't have screamed if I didn't wake up to you pressing your tiny chests at me", I whispered to myself. "Honestly, I thought it was a small pillow or something"

I was making my way to the door to go outside when I felt something grab my shoulder. I turned to face Cagalli who was now glaring at me.

"What. Did. You. Say. Athrun?" she was asking me slowly. I gulped. At that moment I knew I should have ran away or something, but nooooooo I just had to feel confident that nobody heard me. But then again the universe is a jerk so yeah.

"N-nothing. I-i said that you w-were soft and you're skin was so smooth." Then I laughed nervously. She was still glaring at me.

"I see. And what were you saying about my chests? That they were tiny?" This is it, the moment of truth. My answer will determine if I will live or die. But with the universe hating me and all I don't feel lucky to answer.

"Tiny? No! Uhm- I said your chest w-were tighty! Yes! Tighty! Tighty because there weren't any space because they're not tiny at all" I immediately explained to her. But my god, TIGHTY! Is that even a word?

I swear I saw her mouth curl an inch upward to an evil smile as she narrowed her eyes at me. And there's that glint in her eyes again! This can't be good. Time to say my prayers.

Dear Universe, hey man I know we took off on the wrong foot. And it's because you're bastard sometimes. But I'm asking you just this once not to let me get hurt. And I promise not to call her chests tiny anymore.

Dear Mom and Dad, I just want you to know how extremely sorry I am for dying so early and not having a chance to give you a grandchild or in your case mother, grandchildren. I love you both. Please destroy my laptop or at least delete the browser history.

I stopped my prayers and looked at Cagalli. She was still glaring.

Time to bring out the big guns.

I took a deep breath and looked at her with the famous, never beaten, never denied Athrun Zala Puppy Dog Eyes technique™. Ha! Let's see you try and beat that.

She stared into my Athrun Zala Puppy Dog Eyes technique™ for about five seconds and to my surprise she stopped glaring. Yes! The Athrun Zala Puppy Dog Eyes technique™ doesn't fail.

Then she smiled.

I am gonna die.

Then she punched me in the face.

Note to self again: 'A cranky Cagalli means an injured Athrun. And never ever talk about chest sizes in front of women, you will get hurt! And also the Athrun Zala Puppy Dog Eyes technique™ doesn't work on demon princesses.

Oh and the universe really is a bastard. Athrun: 1, Universe: 6

Then cue: fade to black.

* * *

I open my eyes again into a familiar ceiling. My ceiling.

Blinking my eyes, I tried to see if my body was still intact or if Cagalli somehow decided to just stay married to my body and had decapitated me and just left my head to rot. Hey, she's a sadistic and bipolar demon princess, you may never know.

I looked down. Thank god I'm still in one piece.

Now to look for that monst- err my wife. But first to see if my face has been mangled because of her punch. And boy does she pack a punch.

I stood up and went towards the mirror in the bathroom. I looked at my face. There was…

Nothing. No black eye no bruises, it's just my face. My eyes, my nose, my mouth, my ears and lips. That was weird.

Because I saw that I had no bruises that would last me a lifetime, I decided to take a shower before looking for the monst- I mean my wife! I stripped out of my clothes and went towards the bathtub and when I passed the mirror I noticed something in my right hip.

It was a tattoo.

Oh my god another tattoo. As if the troll doll tattoo wasn't enough. I can freaking see it in my chest. And it's too pink! And the rainbow my god!

Upon closer inspection of the tattoo it was a lion design with a flower in its mouth. Huh, it's actually a pretty cool design. Shrugging to myself I proceeded to open the door to the bathtub.

And be met with a naked Cagalli. Again. Goddamnit Universe! Don't you take a rest?!

"Oh my GOD! I'm so sorry!" I apologized as I grabbed a towel to cover myself and turned my back towards her. I am so going to die. I know so because The Athrun Zala Puppy Dog Eyes technique™ doesn't work on her. I can see the headlines now: '20 year old male found dead and naked in the bathtub'. I hope they cover me in a towel in my picture at the newspaper.

I heard the water splash and I gulped. I winced as I felt her hand touch my wrist. Is she going to slit my wrist and bleed me to death filling the tub with my blood and leave me to swim in my blood? That's a lot of blood in one sentence.

"Athrun"

Or maybe she's going to tear me limb from limb and make a bloody stew in the tub and leave me for the other demons to feast upon.

"-hrun hey Athrun!"

I can feel her pulling me towards the tub. Maybe she'll drown me first then cut me in half and place each half of my body as a decoration for my door.

Oh the horror.

"ATHRUN!" she screamed then I felt her smack me in the head. Ow! That really hurt. I heard a splash.

I turned to look at her and saw that she was now sitting in the tub, one arm covering her chest the other was extended with her hand still holding my wrist. I noticed she has a tattoo of an incomplete ornate square on top of her left breast. Oh and she was blushing.

Okay.

"Uhm, you can join me in the bathtub." she told me.

Who? When? What? Now?

I blinked. I must still be dreaming. But then again I'm not, she just smacked me in the head and it hurt. A lot.

"Uh what huh?", I answered her. Smooth answer Zala. Real smooth. If guys answer like that all the time I bet all the ladies will swoon and the whole world will be lovey-dovey with rainbow puking unicorns flying around.

"I said you can join me in the bathtub", then she tightened her grip on me. I winced.

"Uhm, it's okay I'll take a bath after you" Really. What is wrong with me? It's not every day you get asked by a naked hot girl to get inside the tub with her. But then again it's not every day you get married to a demon princess.

"No, it's okay. Get inside"

I looked at her again. She was now pouting and blushing, her eyes looking away from mine. And she was still naked. I stared as the water dripped from her hair then traveled down her jaw to her neck then disappeared on the pool of water between her arm and her breasts. I wanted to dive into that pool of water.

Damn.

What the hell am I thinking?

Hey I'm 20 and I got hormones, what do you expect?

I shook my head to clear just to clear my thoughts when Cagalli spoke again, "Come on, and get inside the bathtub" she was starting to glare at me.

"You see, it's really alright for me to take a bath after you" I saw her narrow her eyes. Then she pulled me down so that we're face to face.

"I. Said. Get. Inside. The. Freaking. Bathtub."

I saw her eyes narrow and her grip tightened some more that it practically cut off any circulation.

I didn't need any more convincing. I immediately went inside the tub, never mind the towel getting wet, and sat in front of Cagalli, with my back towards her. I felt her remove her hand from my wrist. Then she opened the shower.

Cue the awkward silence.

We were sitting inside the tub for what seemed like forever when I felt Cagalli's hand on my shoulder. I stiffened at the contact. Man her hand is so soft just like her brea—Oh my god brain! Stop it!

I gathered my courage to ask her what she is doing.

"I'm going to scrub your back" she told me, and then I felt something like a soft cloth rub into my back. Is that a loofah? When did I have a loofah? Man that feels great. The water and the scrubbing are very relaxing. I was starting to doze off when I felt her hand going lower my back then she slid her hand on top of the towel and stopped at the tattoo on my right hip.

"Do you like the design?" she asked me while she was dragging her finger on my tattooed hip. I blushed then before I could answer I heard her gasp.

I saw the water in front of me bubble like it was boiling and I saw something brown coming out of the water that looked a lot like a wet dog's fur. Like someone drowned their puppy and left it floating. I am so telling the landlord about this. I mean he charges us an insane amount just to stay and he forgets to mention that the bathtub is haunted by drowned dogs. I mean why can't it be the closet or the cupboard in the kitchen or even Yzak's room. Why the bathtub, why? Oh that is it. I am filing a complaint.

Clutching the towel at my waist I immediately stood up and dragged Cagalli out of the bubbling water. When we got out I immediately covered Cagalli with the towel I grabbed nearby. God forbid we get out of this bathroom naked.

I was pulling Cagalli to get out before some haunted wet dog comes out of our tub, when the universe decided to rear its ugly head. Yeah universe I am so blaming you!

I tripped.

On my clothes. Then Cagalli came falling on top of me. And I just happen to catch her fall by grabbing both her breast. Oh great, just great!

I was about to say sorry when a voice spoke up. Come on, why does every one interrupt me when I say something?

"What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing. To. My. Sister. You. Bastard?!"

I looked at the bathtub which now has an angry brunette glaring at me with the intensity of a thousand suns. If looks could kill, I'd be dead then again I'd be dead long ago with the all the looks Cagalli had given me. Not to mention Yzak.

Then remembering that I was still holding Cagalli's uhm- boobies, I removed them. Then I slowly got up and helped Cagalli get up also. Then I turned to look at the brunette who just got out of the bathtub.

I was going to say something when he interrupted me. See? Everybody loves to interrupt me when I'm talking.

By punching me in the face. Apparently everybody loves punching me too.

Note to self: Get a helmet. And life insurance. Definitely the life insurance.

I swear I could hear someone laughing at me. It's either my consciousness or the universe. I'm placing my bet on the universe.

Athrun: 1, Universe: 8

Then cue: fade to black.

* * *

please don't forget to leave a review if it pleases you. tell me what you think.

see you in chapter 3.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm back.

Again, I want to thank everyone who has reviewed, followed, favorited and read this fic. If you have any questions, you can PM me :)

I apologize for the characters OOC-ness.

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. **But I do own the plot and Heine Westenfluss Charming Smile™

oh, and a belated Happy Birthday to Athrun Zala. hahaha

* * *

Love me, baby

Chapter 3: Kira Yamato hates Athrun Zala

_"The worst thing that could happen to you is to get married to a girl with an overprotective brother that knows ways on how to kill just by using a spoon. _

_**I opened my eyes to my ceiling. **_

Again.

You know I'm getting sick and tired of waking up to this ceiling. I mean, sure I've been waking up to this ceiling ever since I started college, but to wake up to it three times in a day. That's overkill.

Since the last thing I remembered was getting punched in the face. Again. And getting punched while naked and passing out in the bathroom can lead to a lot of weird situations when one wakes up. So I start by looking at myself.

I was fully clothed. Thank God.

Well not really fully clothed, I was in a shirt and boxers, but hey it's better than just a towel or being naked. At least someone had the decency to put me into some clothes. After finding out that I was not naked and will not be humiliated for life, I went out of my room and went to the kitchen. Boy was I hungry. Getting punched in the face and passing out twice can make you hungry.

And a hungry Athrun is a cranky Athrun.

When I arrived at the kitchen I was met with a blonde and a brunette eating cereal at the table. I also saw that they were both wearing my shirts which were oversized on Cagalli and a little large on her sibling. They stopped eating and greeted me. Well Cagalli greeted me with a smile on her face, that little sunshine, while her sibling just proceeded to throw a fork which embedded itself onto the wall behind me. It was off by a mere two inches from my face.

Her sibling threw a fork. At me.

You know what they say about seeing your life flash before your eyes when you're about to die. That's a lie. A big fat lie. I had many near death experiences just this morning, and let me tell you it did not flash in front of my eyes before, and it still didn't flash today. The only thing that flashed before my eyes was the fork now embedded at the wall behind me. But then again just being friends with Dearka, Yzak and Heine is always a near death experience, so I must have used up all my 'life flashing before your eyes' moments.

"Tch, I missed." I heard Cagalli's sibling say, then I saw Cagalli punch her sibling in the arm, who winced by the way.

It missed. Ha!

If I was a normal and sane person I would have screamed and ran away from the kitchen whimpering like a little puppy. But when you survive living and being friends with 3 other guys whose personalities and mentalities are highly questionable, you start questioning your mentality as well. Besides, flying utensils can be seen in our apartment everyday courtesy of Yzak. I swear he's a ninja. With old man hair. So I reacted the way I do once the utensils start flying and embedding itself into the wall.

By ignoring it.

You see I believe in the saying 'Ignorance is bliss', I ignore my friends highly questionable and mind scarring antics and I get bliss by not having to pay a psychiatrist for curing me of being mentally scarred.

"Good Morning to you too Cagalli, Cagalli's sibling." I greeted, and then I proceeded to sit at the table to eat with them.

"Kira" Cagalli told me once I was seated with a bowl of cereal in my hands.

"What?"

"Kira, my twin brother's name is Kira"

"Ah, I see a twin." I nodded munching my cereal, and then it struck me. "Wait, did you say brother?"

Cagalli looked at me questioningly then she nodded. So Kira is a 'He'. What? I was so busy angsting that everybody likes to interrupt me when I'm talking that I didn't notice the person who magically appeared in our bathtub was a dude. Besides, he punched me right after, so no time to do a gender check after that.

Before Kira could say something, the kitchen door opened and came in the 3 people that had caused me a lot of near death experiences all this years. My friends.

When they came in and immediately saw the fork embedded at the wall, Heine removed the fork and looked at me an eyebrow raised in question, Dearka muttered an 'oh! Hey it's a fork this time!' and Yzak proceeded with what he does best.

A tantrum.

"The hell, Zala! What is the goddamn fork doing in the wall? We just had the freaking wall repaired and now you're putting holes in it! I'm not going to spend another dollar in repairing this stupid wall just because you use it for target practice."

I sighed and looked at the digital clock by wall just above Yzak's head, which I wish would fall on him, and saw that it read 11:13 am on a Saturday. God, it's not even noon and I'm getting a headache. I looked at Yzak, he's still yelling about walls and forks. I prayed to every God out there to make him stop, he's even worse than a nagging wife who caught her husband cheating on her. Then my prayers were answered.

"Yzak Jule are you having a tantrum again? I can hear your voice from the hallway." a voice interrupted Yzak's tantrum. Thank you God!

"What the hell woman! Can't you see I'm giving Zala here a piece of my mind! He imbedded a fork Shiho, a freaking fork into our newly fixed wall!" he ranted as he faced the kitchen door.

Then our savior came in, through the form of Shiho, Yzak's fianceè.

As you can see ever since we were kids Yzak wasn't what you call a 'little darling', he was what you call "hot-blooded", he would always be so passionate in everything that we do and when things don't go his way he always throws a tantrum and screams at everyone who tries to get near him. Heck, he even bit me in the arm once when I got to beat him in a game of snakes and ladders. Snakes and ladders! A board game! Who bites a person over a board game? Well apparently Yzak does and mind you we were 12 year olds back then.

So then since Yzak is a very hot-blooded person, and his mother who loves him very much became worried that no one would marry her son, even if he is an heir to a worldwide corporation and is rich and handsome, had decided to arrange a marriage for him instead.

And that person is Shiho. Shiho Hahnenfuss.

Shiho was also a childhood friend of ours even though we met her when we were 10 years old. It was also the start of her engagement with Yzak Jule. One day Yzak's mother had seen that Shiho did not cry nor run away from Yzak even if he is threatening her with bodily harm, so on that day she had announced that her son would marry Shiho, and that anyone who objects will be inflicted with bodily harm and will not be able to see the light of day ever again.

No one dared to object.

So now here we are with the two of them being engaged for the past ten years and Yzak's mother nagging them to get married immediately so she can have grandchildren. But it seems that they really like each other.

Now while I was having a flashback of Yzak and Shiho's childhood I had failed to notice that Shiho had stopped Yzak's tantrums and dragged him out of the kitchen.

Which leaves us to the two. Heine and Dearka.

After Shiho had dragged Yzak away from us and saved our ears from bleeding, Heine and Dearka proceeded to sit with us in the table. After they sat down it became quiet, and the only sound that can be heard was the crunching of the cereals that Kira, Cagalli and I are currently eating.

It was scary.

Because Heine and Dearka never goes quiet. Ever. It was like the calm before the storm, they're planning something and I can feel it in my cereal filled stomach.

I mustered the courage to look up from my cereal bowl and look at the table. Cagalli was sitting beside me, on my left; she was also concentrating on reading the back of the cereal box which had a mini game on it. Kira was sitting beside her, on her left, looking over her shoulder and also intrigued by the cereal box.

Then I eyed Heine and Dearka.

They were looking at me with an innocent smile on their faces which for me is considered downright creepy and disturbing.

"What is it?" I asked the both of them, to which they blinked and gave me a confused look.

"What is what, Athrun?" Dearka asked me as he smiled at me like an innocent kid. Ha! Innocent my ass. Heine just stuck with the confused look. For about five seconds.

Then the both of them grabbed my shoulders then pulled me towards them by dragging me at the table's side and placed me in the middle of them. Then they looked at me with large grins on their faces.

This can't be good.

I looked at the siblings and they're still concentrating on the cereal box. Hell they haven't even notice me get dragged on the other side. Some wife I have.

"Athrun, my man. When Shiho told me that there was a hot chick in your room she didn't tell me that there were two of them!" Dearka whispered to me. "I mean, how could you? That's like violating the 'bro's before hoes' code twice! I mean you didn't even introduce me to one of them" I rolled my eyes at Dearka's words and struggled to get out of their grip when they let go of me and went to the other side, to where the twins are, and sat next to each of them.

After a minute, Kira and Cagalli still haven't removed their eyes from the cereal box. What is it with that cereal box? Is there a Rosetta stone in there that they're trying to decipher?

Dearka cleared his throat and spoke to Cagalli, who was still staring at the cereal box. Damn, Dearka must have a death wish. "Hey there sunshine, can you te-"

"Shut it buster. I'm married to Athrun and if you don't want to lose your family jewels and your chance of polluting the Earth with your genes, I suggest you stay far away from me." Cagalli told Dearka without even looking away from the damned cereal box.

Dearka and Heine looked at me with shocked faces and I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled at them. Then Heine tried his luck with Kira, the word here is 'tried'. To which Dearka even gave him a thumbs up for good luck, which I guess he will need soon.

Heine cleared his throat and tapped Kira's shoulder, to which Kira responded by looking at Heine with a confused look.

"_You have such beautiful eyes Ma Chérie, they remind me of amethysts. Such precious stones but they can't be as precious as you, and with your face that is more lovely than the finest sculpture made by the hands of God, you are like a Goddess._" then cue the Heine Westenfluss Charming Smile™ which he flashed at Kira. "_Would you kindly grace this mere mortal with the knowledge of your beautiful name so that I may worship it?_"

I am amazed Heine has brought the big guns right from the start; he's more flowery and poetic than ever. Even the text for his speech is in italics for god's sake! And I think I saw some flowers and sparkles coming from Heine as he was talking to Kira.

After the cheesy speech Cagalli looked up and stared at Heine with a shocked look on her face, Dearka grinned and gave another thumbs up and Kira just stared at Heine. And me? I think I busted a gut or two trying so hard not to laugh.

Then everybody was silent. Well aside from me trying to stifle my laughter.

Ten seconds.

Fifteen seconds.

Twenty seconds.

"_What's the matter my precious little butterfly? Are you so overwhelmed with my feelings of love and adoration that you can barely speak? Answer me my sweet beautiful maiden_"

I swear I saw Kira's left eye twitched at what Heine said and I saw him tighten his hold on the spoon in his hand. I think Kira knows how to kill people with a spoon.

"The hell?! Are you hitting on me? I'm a guy!" Kira shouted at Heine who in return just stared at Kira then proceeded to do a very stupid thing.

He placed both of his hands on Kira's chest, squeezed and then stated. "It is flat, so you're really a guy. Such a shame, you were really cute."

And that's where I lost it.

I began laughing so hard that I almost fell down my seat. I could feel tears coming out of my eyes just from laughing. Oh my god. My stomach hurts from laughing, make it stop!

So after laughing for about a minute and a half, I regained my composure, cleared my throat and looked at the table.

"Athrun! You knew that he was a dude!"

"Athrun! This chick! She's married to you!"

Heine and Dearka both accused me while pointing at Kira and Cagalli. I chuckled at them and nodded, afraid that if I speak up I might just laugh again. So I just took a deep breath, put on my most serious face and faced them.

Heine and Dearka were now throwing me accusing looks, Cagalli was glaring at me with a blush on her face and Kira…well let's just say he wasn't happy camper as of this moment.

Now this is the time where I should have remembered my 'note to self' list, because if I did that I would have saved myself from finding out and testing out this theory, for I have specifically remembered that I listed there that "a cranky Cagalli means an injured Athrun", then Cagalli and Kira are siblings or twins, which means they have the tendency to react the same way in a given situation, and then if you substituted one for the other which will now equal to...

A cranky Kira means an injured Athrun.

If I'm fast enough I could point Heine and say that this isn't my fault but then again I think that Kira wouldn't listen to me with the being accidentally married to her sister and then Hei-

-STAB!-

Holy shit! Kira just stopped my inner mind strategic planning session by stabbing the spoon in the table a few inches from where I was sitting. Thank god the table is a little long or that spoon would have been in my forehead, and Yzak would be mad again for the payment of having my blood cleaned from the kitchen floor. And now there's a hole in the table, gee thanks a lot Kira, you seem to like putting holes in our apartment. Maybe I should ask him for payment, they're demon royalty so that must mean they have money. Yeah, Kira will pay for the holes he had inflicted!

-STAB!-

"You! Bastard!" I heard Kira shout as he tried to stab me with the spoon again, only to hit the table again. Another hole. Goddamit Kira! This is a new table! So I tried to grab the spoon from him.

Before my hands could reach Kira I felt somebody tugged at my collar and dragged me from the kitchen. I turned to see who it is.

It was Cagalli.

Oh boy.

* * *

Cagalli was quiet as she dragged me into my room, and when we arrived she threw me inside and closed the door after she got in.

I looked at Cagalli and she looked back at me. You must not show fear, Athrun. Remember they prey on those who fear. I looked at the floor instead.

Yes, I must not show fear.

She satrted to walk towards me. It's like those moments in horror slasher movies when a victim hides and the killer is looking for them and they hear a 'click clack' as the killer goes near. But this time the killer is barefoot.

She was now standing a few inches from me. I gulped and closed my eyes. Still no life flashing in front of my eyes. I could feel her moving.

Then she embraced me.

What?

I opened my eyes and saw her golden hair in front of me as she rested her head in my chest. Okay, this is really confusing.

"Athrun" she spoke softly. Now, this is weird. Based from what I've experienced, Cagalli and speaking softly do not mix nor make sense. It's like water and oil or like syntax error in a scientific calculator. It's confusing me!

"Yes, Cagalli?" I answered her. Maybe she's sick.

"Apologize to Kira later okay. What you did was mean, you laughed at him and Kira's a bit sensitive about the gender stuff." she told me as she tightened her embrace. Okay? I am now having the urge to grab her arms and shake her while asking 'Who are you and what have you done with Cagalli?', but she might punch me in the face so I decided against it.

"Cagalli are you feeling alright? Do you have a headache or something?" I asked her as I pulled out of her embrace, she shook her head in answer. I looked at her face, her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing heavily, "I think you have a fever?" I told her then I placed my hand on her forehead, but to my surprise she wasn't hot. She giggled at me as she embraced me again, then I felt her hot breath tickling my ear as she said my name.

"Athrun", I felt a shiver run down my spine as she whispered into my ear, then I felt her soft lips against my cheek then downward tracing my jaw with ghost kisses.

Okay now everything is getting weird, I could feel myself blushing and I feel as if the room temperature shot up to a hundred degrees. I opened my mouth to speak, that's when it happened.

She pushed me into my bed. My jaw dropped when I felt and saw her crawling on top of me wearing a sexy smirk on her face.

Then when we were face to face, she grabbed my face with both hands.

And kissed me.

Hard.

Damn.

_"With those hot looks, those burning kisses are teasingly slow."_

* * *

oh dear a cliffhanger. A sexy cliffhanger.

One word for the last line in italics: Vanilla. ;)

I'll continue this on chapter 4.

please do leave a review and tell me what you think. :)

see you in chapter 4.


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